All The Things

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream” CS Lewis

“Think of all the joy you’ll find when you leave the world behind and bid your cares goodbye”- Peter Pan

Sometimes in life’s journey we are too ashamed to keep going in some respective. Perhaps, a failed life attempt keeps reminding you of how you tried before and failed or perhaps just the thought of failure can overwhelm you. That is me all the time. I’ve realized that in the moment, when put on the pot, I can act tough and go towards a challenged full force, but when life slows down and I reflect, my body can go into shock. I can volunteer for a task, be totally excited and the freeze when I stop and think of what’s ahead.

This summer has been uniquely productive.

• I’ve been able to soak up time with Jackson
• I’ve been able to work on assignments to move from a temporary teacher certificate to a professional
• Kyle and I are striving to pay off debts and fix our finances
• I’ve even began steps to publishing a book

Even more than all of those things, as I strive to draw closer to God through my relationship with Christ, I have learned so much about me (and I feel I have so much to still learn). I’ve learned that in the past I have allowed fear to paralyze me, and I when I have allowed it to it can lead to depression. YES, this was magnified and brought forth through my time in Spain, which was now about 4 years ago. In so many ways it seems like yesterday. I have to remind myself about everything that has happened since then, I got married, had a baby, saw my nephew be born, have grown as a teacher and changed churches.  SO much has happened, yet I know so much is left to happen.

A little over a week ago, Kyle and I were able to go see the play “Finding Neverland.” The play cleverly tells the story of how the author who wrote Peter Pan was inspired. The bottom line though, was the thought or question of, why stop playing? Why stop dreaming? And, as I spoke to the representative of a publishing company about publishing a manuscript that I have written and fear started to creep in I thought, have I stopped playing? Have I stopped dreaming? So here I am, in fear, revisiting this blog. As I spoke to the publisher they encouraged me to start it up again.  It’s been a while since I’ve written and SO much has changed, but I’m excited to see where this goes. I excited to see when God provides that right time for me to publish that manuscript after some polishing. I’m excited to see what God will do with our family, and I’m even excited to see when God will allow us to visit Spain as a family, and have it all in some way come full circle.  For now, I’ve decided to start this space up again as a place for me to write and dream. I invite you to read and follow me as I continue this journey of He and i.