Early December 2018, I found out I was pregnant with Elliot Hudson. He is a rainbow baby. December 25th, was the due date I was given for who I thought would be baby Svilar #2. However, in June, 10 weeks into my second pregnancy, I started spotting and a few days later forced myself into my OBs office to check on how things were progressing. To make a long story short after hearing a heartbeat at around 7 weeks, there was no heartbeat at 10 and the baby was measuring the size of an 8 week old. As we went home that night we debated next steps and before we were able to even decide what to do God had me naturally miscarry. (I don’t even know if those are technically the correct terms, but that’s what I’ve got.
That night was so difficult. The physical aspect was intense. Mentally it was exhausting. Emotionally it was not a moment but a healing journey. I don’t think I will ever forget the details of that long night and the day that followed. Don’t get me wrong, I know that many people endure a lot worse, but any loss is a loss and is hard.
Months later, and right before the date that would have been my due date with baby number 2, I find out I am pregnant again. I can go on and on about my pregnancy with Elliot and my emotional ups and downs throughout it but my reason for writing this blog is to just say Elliot is here. I am in love with him, and sometimes I look at him and think back on the journey and am just so thankful for the gift he is. He is my living breathing remembrance to have faith over fear. I felt fear creep up a lot during my pregnancy with him and had to remember to have faith instead. That trade in my heart and mind has to happen daily. All the time.
All The Things 
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